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Our Day in Court

2/25/2018

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Sophia's court date was full of drama and emotion. It was full of joy and relief. Tears flowed from our social workers, even our lawyer. To say it was a happy day is an understatement.
Then on January 9th, we found ourselves in the courtroom again, this time with joy and excited anticipation for our little boy Christian. The judge and everyone in the courtroom was so accommodating and friendly. To them this was a celebration day.
I could not help but flash back to my own court day for my brother Kevin and me years ago in the Steuben County Courthouse, Bath, New York. All I knew about the court room was what I saw on television--you know the typical courtroom drama where the judge would bang the gavel shouting, "Order in the court!"
From what I remember, my own adoption hearing was pretty straightforward, and we officially took on the Kraft name. My mother then asked Judge Purple to use his gavel to humor my brother and me. He was a good sport and playfully banged the gavel and shouted, "Order in the Court!" I was thrilled!
Not too long after that, we got to pick out our own names. I wanted something different, so I chose a name wasn't all that popular back in the day, Cory. I first heard of the name from a popular television series at the time called Julia. It starred Diane Carol, an African American single mom--one of the only black people I remember seeing on tv at the time, raising her son by that name, and I wanted it. The only catch was that it had to be spelled with a K because my siblings were named with Ks.
I remember stepping into my classroom soon after, and my teacher announced that we had a new student. I looked around, expecting to see an unfamiliar face, but I didn't see one. Then she said, "Mike, would you like to tell the class your new name?" I was terribly shy and muttered, "I was adopted and my new name is Kory." The class cheered and congratulated me. My teacher had a big smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
During Christian's adoption, I had tears in my eyes and was full of amazement at the process, and the journey. My biological name was Michael, and when my name was changed, they kept that as my middle name. It was very important to Jennifer and me to keep my name with our children. Sophia's middle name is a variation of mine because while she may not always be a Kraft, she will always now carry her daddy's name. Christian will always and forever be a Kraft, and as a tribute to my biological mother and our passion for adoption, we added Michael to his middle name. I didn't think it was a big deal when we first decided, but when the judge read Christian's full name. paying homage to his birthmother, my birthmother, and my family, I cried.
​It was a happy day, and the judge even acknowledged our first child, Sophia. It is a day that I hope that they will one day remember when they are adopting their own children.
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Tayler's Story

2/18/2018

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The beginning 
It was around Easter of 2014 when I realized that I may be pregnant I took the test in a gas station bathroom. It came up positive and my heart crumbled. Another baby? I didn’t have a job, a license, anything that I needed to support another baby. Jacob, my oldest, was about 10 months old and my parents were supporting him 100%. I walked out of the gas station and found a very close friend parked outside, completely by coincidence. She had no idea what I had just found out, but she must’ve seen the look on my face because she knew something was up. She asked me what was wrong, and I threw the test into her lap. At that point, I was already set on an abortion. I was not about to carry this baby and then just hand it over, and I wasn’t dragging it through the mud either. I had my mind set. She then told me about her friends who would be willing to foster or adopt. I told her there wasn’t any need. 
The decision 
It took me a very long time to tell my mom--in fact about 5 months. She told me she’d pay for the abortion and to make the appointment.
So I did.
I made the appointment; I went to it; I went through the counseling and the walk through of the procedure. I even saw the ultra sound, which I had to fight for because they 
aren't supposed to show you. When I saw the monitor I saw a very large head (he still has that large head, too). 
I knew I was far along, and it was going to cost a lot of money: Strike one. 
The lady at the counter told me I had to have my mother present because it was her debit card: Strike two. So off the bank across the street we went. Turns out, I couldn’t take that much out of the ATM: Strike three.
Three strikes of God showing me that this just was not meant to be. I was supposed to have this baby, but I also knew in my heart that I wasn’t good enough for him. So I called that friend from the car, and I told her to tell Stacy they were having a baby. 
Choosing family 
Stacy and I went out a week after talking for the first time. We instantly clicked, and I fell in love with her. She went on to tell me about her husband, Ryan, and their four kids. I asked her if she was insane wanting another, and she just laughed. She made me feel so welcome and so very loved. She loved my son even more. We went to every doctor's appointment together, even went to Starbucks before most of them. When I met her kids, I was so nervous; would they like me? Would they except this baby? Will they only love me until I have this baby? 
Let me tell you, these kids were and are amazing. They loved me beside the baby. (Well, except the little one--she took some time because we both have the same attitude; and boy oh boy was she fun to mess with! We were all a really weird, really close family.  :) )
I couldn’t stop feeling like this baby was a girl, and I cried for weeks on end because I always wanted a little girl. I know it sounds horrible, but I didn’t know if I could go through with the adoption if it was a girl. Ever since I was little, I wanted a girl.
We decided to get an ultrasound to find out the sex a few weeks after we told everyone about our adoption plan and things got settled between everyone. Stacy's son begged me and prayed to have a boy. In the doctor's office, we sat there for a while before they called us back to the room where they do the ultrasound. The nurse checked the baby out to make sure he was healthy and everything. Then she got a clear picture, and all of us yelled, "It’s a boy!" I looked over to see Ryan crying, and Stacy had this huge gigantic smile. Afterwards, we decided to get balloons and do a reveal for the kids back at home. They were so excited, especially her son who was so sick. 
He’s here! 
For the life of me, I can’t remember what time I finally called Stacy, but I was in labor for about three hours before I did. It was in the middle of the night, and we needed to go to the hospital after having a false alarm. I woke Stacy up, and I don’t think she’s ever driven so fast in her life because she got to my house in 10 minutes. The car ride felt like forever. I was in so much pain. Ryan was getting the kids set up at home with their grandmom, so he met us there. Stacy had my ball, and Ryan brought the camera; we had every thing we needed. It was baby time. 
Labor was rough, 
but Stacy held me through it. I remember her saying, "You got this, babe, just breathe.” I also remember Ryan crying because I was having a rough time. (Sorry Ryan that’s my favorite part ha) 
I finally got the epidural and took a nap. Around 10 am the doc came in and said it was time.  At around 10:45 he was born, and they laid his sweet little body on my chest. I remember not hearing the doctor say “look at all that hair”; instead it was, “we have a head.” I looked up and Stacy and thought, "Your child better have hair; I dealt with fierce heartburn. The. Full. Nine. Months. Every single day!"
But when they laid him on my chest and he was bald! I said to Stacy “All that heartburn for nothing?!” 
We decided Stacy was going to cut the cord; and when she did, blood splattered everywhere. We still to this day laugh about it; it was so funny.  
The hospital stay 
When it came time to leave, the nurse came in and said DCPP was called because I tested positive for marijuana. I asked her why they were called if he wasn’t coming home with me and that the lawyer was on her way with the paperwork for him to go home with them. She told us that the hospital didn’t recognize the placement and had no knowledge of the adoption (which was a lie because we asked if it was possible for the baby to be separated from me if I needed to be, to which they had no issue.) So DCPP came did their investigation and decided he couldn’t go home with Ryan and Stacy because of a technicality. The case worker and nurse took his crib out of the room, and Stacy had to grab me. The entire time this lady kept saying, “We don’t want to divert you from your plan.” But off he went to a foster home we didn’t know, and it was all my fault.
Stacy and I were crushed. My mom
 was livid, having offered to take him home for the time  being. I was ruined, but Stacy yet again pulled it together. “We’ll make it work,” she kept saying. She kept reminding me that it was in God's hands and to just pray.
Two days later I got the call that Joshua was coming home, right before Christmas.
On Christmas Eve, we had
 our first of many visits. 
Today, he’s three and Jacob is 4. 
 
My thoughts and feelings. 
Like I said before, God had his plan. I love these people with the entirety of my heart. I knew Joshua was going where he belonged.
The hardest part for me was admittance--I had to admit that I wasn’t going to be a good enough mother, I wasn't going to be able to give him anything but love. I had no money, no job, no car or license, no high school diploma. 
I couldn’t be his mother. That was the hardest.
Also, that 9
th month, I wanted to stay pregnant forever. I could keep him if he was in my belly. Not giving birth meant me not giving him up. Every movement or hiccup killed me a little more because I knew once those movements and hiccups stopped, I was no longer his mommy. In my womb, I’m his mommy. I can give him everything he needs in my tummy. He’s safe there. But all in all, I knew where he belonged, and who he deserved. And that was them. 
So today I have a job, my diploma, a car and my license. I have a wonderful family with a man who loves both of my children unconditionally. Everything happened exactly how it was supposed to. I’m still super close with Joshua's parents and the kids. Jacob absolutely adores his baby brother. I have an entire family that I never expected to have.  

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Our Journey to Joshua

2/12/2018

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Ryan and I (Stacy) literally began planning our family before we got married. We hoped to get married as soon as we could and have 6 kids, but 4 was our minimum. God had given Ryan and me a passion for the orphaned, widowed, wounded, and the least of these. So, naturally as we dreamed, this life where foster care and adoption was a hope. We married in 2004. We welcomed our first little girl in 2006 and then a little boy in 2007. We were content but still were struggling to adjust to our lives. God was working on us in a big way.
2009 brought us the biggest obstacle of the time. Ryan and I were in marriage counselling, struggling to communicate, to see eye to eye as parents, and we forgot to be best friends…. I was ready to call it quits on the life I had prayed for.
I know what you’re thinking….“What does this have to do with your adoption story?”
I used to think the same thing. But believe me when I tell you that without this part, there would be no adoption.
February 29, 2009
Ryan is at work and falls 25 feet to a concrete floor. Our world is changed and shaken harder than I ever could have foreseen. What God did through this devastation was such a blessing in disguise. God brought us back to where we started. We had to spend all our time together. I had to care for my husband in a way I never had before. We had to trust differently. We both had to let go of any and all expectations of life. It was a tough lesson but God truly healed our marriage and friendship. Praise be to God who healed my husband and who started the ball rolling on our future children.
Following our great healing we welcomed another little girl in 2010 and again in 2012.
After 8 years or marriage, we had 4 beautiful biological children. My pregnancies were beautiful but had some complications. Unfortunately, the last baby brought more complications than expected, and we had to decide to stop having children. It was the best choice we made for my health, but my heart still longed for this other little person somewhere.
After 3 sisters, our son asked for a brother as often as possible. As a mom trying to gently let her son down, I told him to pray for a brother. He did not comprehend how babies got here but he wanted one to show up.
Over the next five years we were back and forth with a Workers Compensation lawyer pertaining to Ryan’s accident. Also, around this time our hearts for foster and adoption just grew. I knew that God was getting us ready for our child. We talked about it a lot. I was brought to tears in every conversation, praying to God to let my baby know that I was waiting and I couldn’t wait to be his mommy. I knew it was a son! I just felt it in my heart!
I signed us up for Foster care classes, and we shared our joy with every person who would listen. This is where GOD showed up in big way again.
July 2014
As we were sharing our hope for foster care and adoption, a young woman was sharing with a mutual friend that she was pregnant and feared she couldn’t keep this baby. Our friend Anna-Marie told this sweet young lady that she knew a couple who would adopt her baby.
That same week, we received notice that after 5 years they were closing Ryan’s Workers Comp case, and we would be receiving a settlement--a lump sum of $72,000! (This specific amount matters because while my husband makes good money, we definitely never had that much in the bank all at once. But wait...God was doing something very special.)
That weekend Anna-Marie came over for a birthday party and told us about T, her friend who was expecting but could not keep this baby. She told us, too, that she told T that we would adopt her baby. Naturally, I laughed and said, “ You can’t just tell people we will adopt their baby” Anna-Marie said, “I know no one will love this baby or take care of it like you guys will. Ryan and I just looked at each other and say, “Yes!” I told Anna-Marie to give T my phone number because, at the very least, I wanted to be available to help her in anyway I could.
Within a few days T and I met. I was such a jittery mess. I seriously went and got my nose pierced before I met her, thinking this would help calm my nerves. I was not ready for this. What if my hope of adoption was shut down right at this moment? What was I thinking?? I had 4 beautiful kids! How selfish could I be??? But I believed that God had put this calling on my heart years ago and that He was going complete what He started!
I picked her up from her house and we went out for lunch. It was like we had known each other our whole lives. We just connected. We talked like old friends and we did not beat around the bush. We had a mission. She wanted a good family for her baby and I wanted her to pick us. Within a few weeks we visited a lawyer to move forward with our fast approaching adoption…. Did I mention she was almost 6 months pregnant when we met? We didn't have much time. We had no choice but to get down to business.  
As we entered our private adoption, we met roadblocks but God had His hand on this the whole time! We flew through our paperwork; we did every inspection and kept meeting roadblocks. The agency had concerns to our answers to sensitive issues, and they questioned our financials. This is where it gets really cool. There is a rule where you had to have net worth of $10k per person in your home per year. God made it that we just happened to have that $70k in our account!
There were a lot of obstacles and red tape we had to go through during those first few days and weeks. I had to go as far as to call headquarters of our agency to talk it all out to approve us because the person we worked with at the agency put the wrong date on our paperwork. We had to make way too many phone calls and advocated for ourselves and T way more than I had anticipated. My sweet husband was the best support, he really is a gift. I think I cried more during this time than I did through my 4 pregnancies combined! Every time Satan tried to make something go wrong there was a wave of prayers that broke him down! The prayers of many made every obstacle seem so small.
We went to every appointment with T; we heard every heartbeat, and she even let me feel my sweet baby kick. We talked about everything we could think of. She shared her hopes and concerns. She was so convinced that this baby was a girl, just because she already had a little boy, but I had to share with her what God had shared with me. Many months before any of this, I dreamed of a young pregnant woman who I was caring for. When I woke up from my dream, I prayed to God I was willing to take care of this woman, whoever she may be. "God I will take care of her. Whatever she needs, Lord just send her to me, I will be here for her." God answered me in that moment and told me, “this is your son.”
I know, I know, “Did this lady just say God talked to her?”
God spoke to me, I heard a voice say, “This is your son.”
My morning devotion even brought me to 1 Samuel 1:27: “I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.”
I reassured T that God would never break her heart; she was so distraught over the thought that the baby was a girl. “T, this baby is our son. Not a daughter but a son.”  Two weeks later we had our ultrasound. We found out the sex of the baby. “It’s a BOY!”
There was not a dry eye in the room.
I got to reassure T again that God’s hand is deep in our adventure; He will never break her heart. During the rest of her pregnancy, we made T a part of our family. We wanted her to know that we had her back and we are in this, with her, forever. 

We got the “What if she backs out?” question a lot. We truly knew that that was always a possibility. She loves her baby. She loves him so much she has chosen to give him to us. We usually answered, “We know that she could. We also know that we maybe the only Jesus she may ever see in her life. So, even if she changes her mind, we got to show her Jesus and that is worth every penny.”
December 2014
Our friends and family threw us a “Baby Sprinkle” in our home. T, her family, and our family made it such a sweet afternoon. This was all just in time, too. T went into labor in the middle of the night of the 16th and called me. I woke up Ryan to let him know that it was time. I grabbed my bag and the baby’s things and headed to her house to pick her up, then headed off to the hospital. I loved that I got to love her through her pain. We had such a beautiful birth. She was awesome. She even insisted that Ryan be in the delivery room. She wanted make sure that our son had his daddy there when he came into this world. They let me cut the cord and they placed him on her chest. I loved seeing all of this and I could not wait to hold our son. 
I had prepared my body to nurse our new baby. I nursed him shortly after, and it was beautiful. T also nursed our son. We soaked up every moment together. The next days brought challenges, though. Our home study was still not complete. We called the agency and our lawyer to get things settled so that we could go home with our son after she signed over guardianship.
Our hearts broke to find out that T had tested positive for Marijuana. The Division of Children Protection and Permanency (DCP&P) was contacted. T and I had a great relationship and I was by her side during the whole ordeal. I believe that worked against us.  Also, I was accused of child endangerment for nursing my son by the hospital. The OB/GYN said they had never met me and that they had no idea of our impending adoption. I shoved every piece of paper showing our adoption agreement to every person who came in our room, and it was like no one cared. I fought as hard as I could, but ultimately our son Joshua was removed by Social Workers. The Social Worker kept pushing reunification of mother and child. T said over and over, “Stacy is his mom! Give her her son!”
I had to hold her back while we both mourned our loss. This was the biggest obstacle of our adoption. It was 8pm on a Friday night, and they finally discharged two emotionally drained women from the hospital. We both went home empty handed but with a plan to fight DCP&P and bring our baby home. Our friends met us at home. My girlfriends helped with the kids and laid next to me while I just cried my heart out.

Following the advice of our lawyer, we met the next morning and signed all the guardianship papers with a Notary and submitted them to the courts knowing we had to wait until Monday to know what would come of it. The longest weekend of all time. 
I called our lawyer as often as possible. I called the Social Worker as often as possible. I needed to know that they were working for us and not against us.
 
That Sunday we went to Church and I was a mess. We were approached by a woman in our church who told me, “Our sweet friend Jesus put you on my heart. Are you ok?” I crumbled. She had no idea about our adoption. It was an 800+ people on a Sunday Morning church. It's hard to keep up with everyone. Jesus was fighting for us and our family! God’s hand was working while we were crying out to Him.
I spent my time praying, crying, hugging our children and printing out every picture of our last first few days. I made albums for us and T. We talked even more.  
Monday Afternoon… I got a long awaited phone call from our lawyer. DCP&P had to return the baby to our care as soon as possible. The Social Worker would come and inspect our home. At the time of the call, because I was avoiding being home around all the baby things, I was walking around a Big Lots. I laid down on the floor of the store and cried! I ran to find Ryan and told him what was said. What a relief!
The Social Worker called shortly after and came to our home a few hours later. We briefed the kids on what was happening. It was safe to say that our home was happy to get this behind us was an understatement. She wandered around our home and checked things off her list. We confirmed a meeting at the pediatrician for her to bring our son and for her to be done with us forever.
Tuesday Afternoon. December 23,2014
We walked into our pediatrician office and met with the staff that has known our family since 2006. They got to give us our baby two days before Christmas. His foster mom had dressed him like a present. Red and green everything. He was the most perfect present I had ever seen. I was a ball of emotion. I said, “Can I hold him?” They all said, “Yes, he is yours now.”
We invited all of our prayer warriors over to come and meet our baby Joshua Armando Ferrigno. Every Grandparent, Aunt, Uncle, cousin, friend who could be at our home was at our home. We got to pray over our family and really just relish that we got to finally to be together.
Christmas Eve Day 2014
We picked up T and let her spend time with our new little boy. It just meant so much to all of us to be together. We had gone through so much to bring him home. We wanted her to know that she was so loved and so was Joshua.
February 2015
We get a phone call from T telling us that the birth father’s parents were just now finding out about baby Joshua and would like to know if we could talk. We had met with the birth father during the pregnancy and we had his approval for the adoption. He was adopted out of the foster care system himself, but he had not told his parents about our baby. I told T to give them my phone number. She did.
I questioned their intentions in my head. What if they wanted to fight us for our baby? We were still weeks away from Termination of Parental Rights (TPR). I was honestly apprehensive about a relationship with them. When Lillian called, I was an instant ball of nerves. I didn’t know what to expect. She was just as nervous as I was but she said all the things I never thought I would hear. She told me that she didn't want to take our baby. She expressed her love for foster care and adoption. She told me of her adoption journey to grow their family and how she admired that her son made such a responsible decision to choose adoption for his own child. She simply asked for an opportunity to meet her grandchild and to get to know us. I told her about our family dynamic and how we are a package deal. She was thrilled by the chance of a large family and the thought of 5 grandchildren! God was just showing off at this point!
We met for the first time in a halfway house in Camden. That was where R was during this time. They got to meet us and their grandson, She took so many pictures, it was a bittersweet time. We were all together for the first time and I had to ask R to sign consent to the TPR.
We continued our relationship with Lillian and Bill, R’s parents. To this day, they spend intentional time with all 5 kids. They have grown a relationship with them that is such a true blessing of adoption. All five of our children now call them Meemaw and Pops. The love they all have for each other is just gorgeous, it’s almost like they have been here all along. God intended them for us, Joshua was the catalyst to this beautiful connection.
September 2015
The day we had been waiting for was finally here! We finally went to our final hearing where Joshua officially was named a Ferrigno.
After Joshua was removed from us at the hospital I lived in fear that somehow someone would take him away again. Every time we had an evaluation, maybe I would do something wrong or what if our home wasn't clean enough? What if they thought he wasn’t bonding with us? These months I felt so insecure. I cried out to God for confidence. I knew that God had this all under control but my mind was flooded with doubt.
But  on September 16, 2015 we became a forever family.
Looking back over this time, there is so much that could have been seen as hopeless. We got to pray and trust that God was in control. What the enemy meant for our devastation, God has used it for His glory and our good.
Joshua just turned 3. We have a fantastic relationship with T, Joshua’s brother, and her boyfriend. We are just family. Our families have loved us so much through all of this, even if they had their concerns. They know that their lives would be incomplete without Joshua.
I know that our story isn’t typical but that’s what makes it so special.
This was all the work of a great and mighty God.
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    Authors

    Hi, we are Jennifer and Kory, founders of Chosen One Ministries. On this blog you will read our stories and thoughts about adoption as well as contributing writers whose lives have been impacted by adoption.
    Please contact us if you have any questions. 

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