Chosen One Ministries
  • Home
  • About
  • Mission
  • Biblical Truth
  • Contact
  • Resources
  • Blog

Our Day in Court

2/25/2018

1 Comment

 
Sophia's court date was full of drama and emotion. It was full of joy and relief. Tears flowed from our social workers, even our lawyer. To say it was a happy day is an understatement.
Then on January 9th, we found ourselves in the courtroom again, this time with joy and excited anticipation for our little boy Christian. The judge and everyone in the courtroom was so accommodating and friendly. To them this was a celebration day.
I could not help but flash back to my own court day for my brother Kevin and me years ago in the Steuben County Courthouse, Bath, New York. All I knew about the court room was what I saw on television--you know the typical courtroom drama where the judge would bang the gavel shouting, "Order in the court!"
From what I remember, my own adoption hearing was pretty straightforward, and we officially took on the Kraft name. My mother then asked Judge Purple to use his gavel to humor my brother and me. He was a good sport and playfully banged the gavel and shouted, "Order in the Court!" I was thrilled!
Not too long after that, we got to pick out our own names. I wanted something different, so I chose a name wasn't all that popular back in the day, Cory. I first heard of the name from a popular television series at the time called Julia. It starred Diane Carol, an African American single mom--one of the only black people I remember seeing on tv at the time, raising her son by that name, and I wanted it. The only catch was that it had to be spelled with a K because my siblings were named with Ks.
I remember stepping into my classroom soon after, and my teacher announced that we had a new student. I looked around, expecting to see an unfamiliar face, but I didn't see one. Then she said, "Mike, would you like to tell the class your new name?" I was terribly shy and muttered, "I was adopted and my new name is Kory." The class cheered and congratulated me. My teacher had a big smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
During Christian's adoption, I had tears in my eyes and was full of amazement at the process, and the journey. My biological name was Michael, and when my name was changed, they kept that as my middle name. It was very important to Jennifer and me to keep my name with our children. Sophia's middle name is a variation of mine because while she may not always be a Kraft, she will always now carry her daddy's name. Christian will always and forever be a Kraft, and as a tribute to my biological mother and our passion for adoption, we added Michael to his middle name. I didn't think it was a big deal when we first decided, but when the judge read Christian's full name. paying homage to his birthmother, my birthmother, and my family, I cried.
​It was a happy day, and the judge even acknowledged our first child, Sophia. It is a day that I hope that they will one day remember when they are adopting their own children.
Picture
1 Comment

Tayler's Story

2/18/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
The beginning 
It was around Easter of 2014 when I realized that I may be pregnant I took the test in a gas station bathroom. It came up positive and my heart crumbled. Another baby? I didn’t have a job, a license, anything that I needed to support another baby. Jacob, my oldest, was about 10 months old and my parents were supporting him 100%. I walked out of the gas station and found a very close friend parked outside, completely by coincidence. She had no idea what I had just found out, but she must’ve seen the look on my face because she knew something was up. She asked me what was wrong, and I threw the test into her lap. At that point, I was already set on an abortion. I was not about to carry this baby and then just hand it over, and I wasn’t dragging it through the mud either. I had my mind set. She then told me about her friends who would be willing to foster or adopt. I told her there wasn’t any need. 
The decision 
It took me a very long time to tell my mom--in fact about 5 months. She told me she’d pay for the abortion and to make the appointment.
So I did.
I made the appointment; I went to it; I went through the counseling and the walk through of the procedure. I even saw the ultra sound, which I had to fight for because they 
aren't supposed to show you. When I saw the monitor I saw a very large head (he still has that large head, too). 
I knew I was far along, and it was going to cost a lot of money: Strike one. 
The lady at the counter told me I had to have my mother present because it was her debit card: Strike two. So off the bank across the street we went. Turns out, I couldn’t take that much out of the ATM: Strike three.
Three strikes of God showing me that this just was not meant to be. I was supposed to have this baby, but I also knew in my heart that I wasn’t good enough for him. So I called that friend from the car, and I told her to tell Stacy they were having a baby. 
Choosing family 
Stacy and I went out a week after talking for the first time. We instantly clicked, and I fell in love with her. She went on to tell me about her husband, Ryan, and their four kids. I asked her if she was insane wanting another, and she just laughed. She made me feel so welcome and so very loved. She loved my son even more. We went to every doctor's appointment together, even went to Starbucks before most of them. When I met her kids, I was so nervous; would they like me? Would they except this baby? Will they only love me until I have this baby? 
Let me tell you, these kids were and are amazing. They loved me beside the baby. (Well, except the little one--she took some time because we both have the same attitude; and boy oh boy was she fun to mess with! We were all a really weird, really close family.  :) )
I couldn’t stop feeling like this baby was a girl, and I cried for weeks on end because I always wanted a little girl. I know it sounds horrible, but I didn’t know if I could go through with the adoption if it was a girl. Ever since I was little, I wanted a girl.
We decided to get an ultrasound to find out the sex a few weeks after we told everyone about our adoption plan and things got settled between everyone. Stacy's son begged me and prayed to have a boy. In the doctor's office, we sat there for a while before they called us back to the room where they do the ultrasound. The nurse checked the baby out to make sure he was healthy and everything. Then she got a clear picture, and all of us yelled, "It’s a boy!" I looked over to see Ryan crying, and Stacy had this huge gigantic smile. Afterwards, we decided to get balloons and do a reveal for the kids back at home. They were so excited, especially her son who was so sick. 
He’s here! 
For the life of me, I can’t remember what time I finally called Stacy, but I was in labor for about three hours before I did. It was in the middle of the night, and we needed to go to the hospital after having a false alarm. I woke Stacy up, and I don’t think she’s ever driven so fast in her life because she got to my house in 10 minutes. The car ride felt like forever. I was in so much pain. Ryan was getting the kids set up at home with their grandmom, so he met us there. Stacy had my ball, and Ryan brought the camera; we had every thing we needed. It was baby time. 
Labor was rough, 
but Stacy held me through it. I remember her saying, "You got this, babe, just breathe.” I also remember Ryan crying because I was having a rough time. (Sorry Ryan that’s my favorite part ha) 
I finally got the epidural and took a nap. Around 10 am the doc came in and said it was time.  At around 10:45 he was born, and they laid his sweet little body on my chest. I remember not hearing the doctor say “look at all that hair”; instead it was, “we have a head.” I looked up and Stacy and thought, "Your child better have hair; I dealt with fierce heartburn. The. Full. Nine. Months. Every single day!"
But when they laid him on my chest and he was bald! I said to Stacy “All that heartburn for nothing?!” 
We decided Stacy was going to cut the cord; and when she did, blood splattered everywhere. We still to this day laugh about it; it was so funny.  
The hospital stay 
When it came time to leave, the nurse came in and said DCPP was called because I tested positive for marijuana. I asked her why they were called if he wasn’t coming home with me and that the lawyer was on her way with the paperwork for him to go home with them. She told us that the hospital didn’t recognize the placement and had no knowledge of the adoption (which was a lie because we asked if it was possible for the baby to be separated from me if I needed to be, to which they had no issue.) So DCPP came did their investigation and decided he couldn’t go home with Ryan and Stacy because of a technicality. The case worker and nurse took his crib out of the room, and Stacy had to grab me. The entire time this lady kept saying, “We don’t want to divert you from your plan.” But off he went to a foster home we didn’t know, and it was all my fault.
Stacy and I were crushed. My mom
 was livid, having offered to take him home for the time  being. I was ruined, but Stacy yet again pulled it together. “We’ll make it work,” she kept saying. She kept reminding me that it was in God's hands and to just pray.
Two days later I got the call that Joshua was coming home, right before Christmas.
On Christmas Eve, we had
 our first of many visits. 
Today, he’s three and Jacob is 4. 
 
My thoughts and feelings. 
Like I said before, God had his plan. I love these people with the entirety of my heart. I knew Joshua was going where he belonged.
The hardest part for me was admittance--I had to admit that I wasn’t going to be a good enough mother, I wasn't going to be able to give him anything but love. I had no money, no job, no car or license, no high school diploma. 
I couldn’t be his mother. That was the hardest.
Also, that 9
th month, I wanted to stay pregnant forever. I could keep him if he was in my belly. Not giving birth meant me not giving him up. Every movement or hiccup killed me a little more because I knew once those movements and hiccups stopped, I was no longer his mommy. In my womb, I’m his mommy. I can give him everything he needs in my tummy. He’s safe there. But all in all, I knew where he belonged, and who he deserved. And that was them. 
So today I have a job, my diploma, a car and my license. I have a wonderful family with a man who loves both of my children unconditionally. Everything happened exactly how it was supposed to. I’m still super close with Joshua's parents and the kids. Jacob absolutely adores his baby brother. I have an entire family that I never expected to have.  

0 Comments

Our Journey to Joshua

2/12/2018

7 Comments

 
Ryan and I (Stacy) literally began planning our family before we got married. We hoped to get married as soon as we could and have 6 kids, but 4 was our minimum. God had given Ryan and me a passion for the orphaned, widowed, wounded, and the least of these. So, naturally as we dreamed, this life where foster care and adoption was a hope. We married in 2004. We welcomed our first little girl in 2006 and then a little boy in 2007. We were content but still were struggling to adjust to our lives. God was working on us in a big way.
2009 brought us the biggest obstacle of the time. Ryan and I were in marriage counselling, struggling to communicate, to see eye to eye as parents, and we forgot to be best friends…. I was ready to call it quits on the life I had prayed for.
I know what you’re thinking….“What does this have to do with your adoption story?”
I used to think the same thing. But believe me when I tell you that without this part, there would be no adoption.
February 29, 2009
Ryan is at work and falls 25 feet to a concrete floor. Our world is changed and shaken harder than I ever could have foreseen. What God did through this devastation was such a blessing in disguise. God brought us back to where we started. We had to spend all our time together. I had to care for my husband in a way I never had before. We had to trust differently. We both had to let go of any and all expectations of life. It was a tough lesson but God truly healed our marriage and friendship. Praise be to God who healed my husband and who started the ball rolling on our future children.
Following our great healing we welcomed another little girl in 2010 and again in 2012.
After 8 years or marriage, we had 4 beautiful biological children. My pregnancies were beautiful but had some complications. Unfortunately, the last baby brought more complications than expected, and we had to decide to stop having children. It was the best choice we made for my health, but my heart still longed for this other little person somewhere.
After 3 sisters, our son asked for a brother as often as possible. As a mom trying to gently let her son down, I told him to pray for a brother. He did not comprehend how babies got here but he wanted one to show up.
Over the next five years we were back and forth with a Workers Compensation lawyer pertaining to Ryan’s accident. Also, around this time our hearts for foster and adoption just grew. I knew that God was getting us ready for our child. We talked about it a lot. I was brought to tears in every conversation, praying to God to let my baby know that I was waiting and I couldn’t wait to be his mommy. I knew it was a son! I just felt it in my heart!
I signed us up for Foster care classes, and we shared our joy with every person who would listen. This is where GOD showed up in big way again.
July 2014
As we were sharing our hope for foster care and adoption, a young woman was sharing with a mutual friend that she was pregnant and feared she couldn’t keep this baby. Our friend Anna-Marie told this sweet young lady that she knew a couple who would adopt her baby.
That same week, we received notice that after 5 years they were closing Ryan’s Workers Comp case, and we would be receiving a settlement--a lump sum of $72,000! (This specific amount matters because while my husband makes good money, we definitely never had that much in the bank all at once. But wait...God was doing something very special.)
That weekend Anna-Marie came over for a birthday party and told us about T, her friend who was expecting but could not keep this baby. She told us, too, that she told T that we would adopt her baby. Naturally, I laughed and said, “ You can’t just tell people we will adopt their baby” Anna-Marie said, “I know no one will love this baby or take care of it like you guys will. Ryan and I just looked at each other and say, “Yes!” I told Anna-Marie to give T my phone number because, at the very least, I wanted to be available to help her in anyway I could.
Within a few days T and I met. I was such a jittery mess. I seriously went and got my nose pierced before I met her, thinking this would help calm my nerves. I was not ready for this. What if my hope of adoption was shut down right at this moment? What was I thinking?? I had 4 beautiful kids! How selfish could I be??? But I believed that God had put this calling on my heart years ago and that He was going complete what He started!
I picked her up from her house and we went out for lunch. It was like we had known each other our whole lives. We just connected. We talked like old friends and we did not beat around the bush. We had a mission. She wanted a good family for her baby and I wanted her to pick us. Within a few weeks we visited a lawyer to move forward with our fast approaching adoption…. Did I mention she was almost 6 months pregnant when we met? We didn't have much time. We had no choice but to get down to business.  
As we entered our private adoption, we met roadblocks but God had His hand on this the whole time! We flew through our paperwork; we did every inspection and kept meeting roadblocks. The agency had concerns to our answers to sensitive issues, and they questioned our financials. This is where it gets really cool. There is a rule where you had to have net worth of $10k per person in your home per year. God made it that we just happened to have that $70k in our account!
There were a lot of obstacles and red tape we had to go through during those first few days and weeks. I had to go as far as to call headquarters of our agency to talk it all out to approve us because the person we worked with at the agency put the wrong date on our paperwork. We had to make way too many phone calls and advocated for ourselves and T way more than I had anticipated. My sweet husband was the best support, he really is a gift. I think I cried more during this time than I did through my 4 pregnancies combined! Every time Satan tried to make something go wrong there was a wave of prayers that broke him down! The prayers of many made every obstacle seem so small.
We went to every appointment with T; we heard every heartbeat, and she even let me feel my sweet baby kick. We talked about everything we could think of. She shared her hopes and concerns. She was so convinced that this baby was a girl, just because she already had a little boy, but I had to share with her what God had shared with me. Many months before any of this, I dreamed of a young pregnant woman who I was caring for. When I woke up from my dream, I prayed to God I was willing to take care of this woman, whoever she may be. "God I will take care of her. Whatever she needs, Lord just send her to me, I will be here for her." God answered me in that moment and told me, “this is your son.”
I know, I know, “Did this lady just say God talked to her?”
God spoke to me, I heard a voice say, “This is your son.”
My morning devotion even brought me to 1 Samuel 1:27: “I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.”
I reassured T that God would never break her heart; she was so distraught over the thought that the baby was a girl. “T, this baby is our son. Not a daughter but a son.”  Two weeks later we had our ultrasound. We found out the sex of the baby. “It’s a BOY!”
There was not a dry eye in the room.
I got to reassure T again that God’s hand is deep in our adventure; He will never break her heart. During the rest of her pregnancy, we made T a part of our family. We wanted her to know that we had her back and we are in this, with her, forever. 

We got the “What if she backs out?” question a lot. We truly knew that that was always a possibility. She loves her baby. She loves him so much she has chosen to give him to us. We usually answered, “We know that she could. We also know that we maybe the only Jesus she may ever see in her life. So, even if she changes her mind, we got to show her Jesus and that is worth every penny.”
December 2014
Our friends and family threw us a “Baby Sprinkle” in our home. T, her family, and our family made it such a sweet afternoon. This was all just in time, too. T went into labor in the middle of the night of the 16th and called me. I woke up Ryan to let him know that it was time. I grabbed my bag and the baby’s things and headed to her house to pick her up, then headed off to the hospital. I loved that I got to love her through her pain. We had such a beautiful birth. She was awesome. She even insisted that Ryan be in the delivery room. She wanted make sure that our son had his daddy there when he came into this world. They let me cut the cord and they placed him on her chest. I loved seeing all of this and I could not wait to hold our son. 
I had prepared my body to nurse our new baby. I nursed him shortly after, and it was beautiful. T also nursed our son. We soaked up every moment together. The next days brought challenges, though. Our home study was still not complete. We called the agency and our lawyer to get things settled so that we could go home with our son after she signed over guardianship.
Our hearts broke to find out that T had tested positive for Marijuana. The Division of Children Protection and Permanency (DCP&P) was contacted. T and I had a great relationship and I was by her side during the whole ordeal. I believe that worked against us.  Also, I was accused of child endangerment for nursing my son by the hospital. The OB/GYN said they had never met me and that they had no idea of our impending adoption. I shoved every piece of paper showing our adoption agreement to every person who came in our room, and it was like no one cared. I fought as hard as I could, but ultimately our son Joshua was removed by Social Workers. The Social Worker kept pushing reunification of mother and child. T said over and over, “Stacy is his mom! Give her her son!”
I had to hold her back while we both mourned our loss. This was the biggest obstacle of our adoption. It was 8pm on a Friday night, and they finally discharged two emotionally drained women from the hospital. We both went home empty handed but with a plan to fight DCP&P and bring our baby home. Our friends met us at home. My girlfriends helped with the kids and laid next to me while I just cried my heart out.

Following the advice of our lawyer, we met the next morning and signed all the guardianship papers with a Notary and submitted them to the courts knowing we had to wait until Monday to know what would come of it. The longest weekend of all time. 
I called our lawyer as often as possible. I called the Social Worker as often as possible. I needed to know that they were working for us and not against us.
 
That Sunday we went to Church and I was a mess. We were approached by a woman in our church who told me, “Our sweet friend Jesus put you on my heart. Are you ok?” I crumbled. She had no idea about our adoption. It was an 800+ people on a Sunday Morning church. It's hard to keep up with everyone. Jesus was fighting for us and our family! God’s hand was working while we were crying out to Him.
I spent my time praying, crying, hugging our children and printing out every picture of our last first few days. I made albums for us and T. We talked even more.  
Monday Afternoon… I got a long awaited phone call from our lawyer. DCP&P had to return the baby to our care as soon as possible. The Social Worker would come and inspect our home. At the time of the call, because I was avoiding being home around all the baby things, I was walking around a Big Lots. I laid down on the floor of the store and cried! I ran to find Ryan and told him what was said. What a relief!
The Social Worker called shortly after and came to our home a few hours later. We briefed the kids on what was happening. It was safe to say that our home was happy to get this behind us was an understatement. She wandered around our home and checked things off her list. We confirmed a meeting at the pediatrician for her to bring our son and for her to be done with us forever.
Tuesday Afternoon. December 23,2014
We walked into our pediatrician office and met with the staff that has known our family since 2006. They got to give us our baby two days before Christmas. His foster mom had dressed him like a present. Red and green everything. He was the most perfect present I had ever seen. I was a ball of emotion. I said, “Can I hold him?” They all said, “Yes, he is yours now.”
We invited all of our prayer warriors over to come and meet our baby Joshua Armando Ferrigno. Every Grandparent, Aunt, Uncle, cousin, friend who could be at our home was at our home. We got to pray over our family and really just relish that we got to finally to be together.
Christmas Eve Day 2014
We picked up T and let her spend time with our new little boy. It just meant so much to all of us to be together. We had gone through so much to bring him home. We wanted her to know that she was so loved and so was Joshua.
February 2015
We get a phone call from T telling us that the birth father’s parents were just now finding out about baby Joshua and would like to know if we could talk. We had met with the birth father during the pregnancy and we had his approval for the adoption. He was adopted out of the foster care system himself, but he had not told his parents about our baby. I told T to give them my phone number. She did.
I questioned their intentions in my head. What if they wanted to fight us for our baby? We were still weeks away from Termination of Parental Rights (TPR). I was honestly apprehensive about a relationship with them. When Lillian called, I was an instant ball of nerves. I didn’t know what to expect. She was just as nervous as I was but she said all the things I never thought I would hear. She told me that she didn't want to take our baby. She expressed her love for foster care and adoption. She told me of her adoption journey to grow their family and how she admired that her son made such a responsible decision to choose adoption for his own child. She simply asked for an opportunity to meet her grandchild and to get to know us. I told her about our family dynamic and how we are a package deal. She was thrilled by the chance of a large family and the thought of 5 grandchildren! God was just showing off at this point!
We met for the first time in a halfway house in Camden. That was where R was during this time. They got to meet us and their grandson, She took so many pictures, it was a bittersweet time. We were all together for the first time and I had to ask R to sign consent to the TPR.
We continued our relationship with Lillian and Bill, R’s parents. To this day, they spend intentional time with all 5 kids. They have grown a relationship with them that is such a true blessing of adoption. All five of our children now call them Meemaw and Pops. The love they all have for each other is just gorgeous, it’s almost like they have been here all along. God intended them for us, Joshua was the catalyst to this beautiful connection.
September 2015
The day we had been waiting for was finally here! We finally went to our final hearing where Joshua officially was named a Ferrigno.
After Joshua was removed from us at the hospital I lived in fear that somehow someone would take him away again. Every time we had an evaluation, maybe I would do something wrong or what if our home wasn't clean enough? What if they thought he wasn’t bonding with us? These months I felt so insecure. I cried out to God for confidence. I knew that God had this all under control but my mind was flooded with doubt.
But  on September 16, 2015 we became a forever family.
Looking back over this time, there is so much that could have been seen as hopeless. We got to pray and trust that God was in control. What the enemy meant for our devastation, God has used it for His glory and our good.
Joshua just turned 3. We have a fantastic relationship with T, Joshua’s brother, and her boyfriend. We are just family. Our families have loved us so much through all of this, even if they had their concerns. They know that their lives would be incomplete without Joshua.
I know that our story isn’t typical but that’s what makes it so special.
This was all the work of a great and mighty God.
7 Comments

God Answers Prayer

1/15/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
  1. I love when I am able to look back and pinpoint an exact prayer at an exact time and then look forward to the exact moment when that prayer was answered. This picture demonstrates that three times over.
              New Years Eve, 2006--my parent's den.
              November 8, 2012--our breakfast nook.
              March 28, 2017--the frozen food section of
                                                     Target.
  2. I really want to be eloquent right now. I really want to be poetic and use lovely words, but I am so overwhelmed by the love of God and so humbled by the role He has chosen for me in this life, that I am at a loss for words that aren't raw and honest and plain.
    I am the wife of the best man I've ever met. Hands down. He is Godly. He is honest. He is real. He is kind.  He is the best friend I waited my whole life for.
    I am mama to the most incredible little girl God ever made. She is sassy. She is wicked smart. She wears her heart on her sleeve. She is compassionate. And boy oh boy is she silly. I've never belly laughed with anyone else in my life the way I laugh with her.
    And as of Tuesday, the sweetest, cuddliest little boy ever calls me mama. He has the best smile I've ever seen. He's a thinker. He doesn't hug; he squeezes. His first sentence was "I love you, mom." And that brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it.  
    There is nothing I could've ever done--no good deed, no monumental task-- to deserve this life, to deserve these titles. Yet still they call me wife and mama.  The greatest part about that, though, is I don't serve a God who waits for my performance to bless. Who doesn't rely on my goodness to bestow good gift after good gift.  I do serve a God who loves me unconditionally. Who gives freely to His children. Who is creative in His expression. 
    I never could have imagined the life I have now. I look around at the Matchbox cars and doll bottles on the living room floor that I've already picked up a dozen times today, the size 12 boots in the hall next to the ice scraper I'll never use because he takes care of those kinds of things, and the dining room table , covered right now with crafts and glitter and magic markers, but tonight will be set for four. I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving, with gratitude, and with praise to the God who made this happen and continues to make happen what I don't even have the creativity to dream.  To HIM be the glory for this. 

    Ephesians 3:20-2120 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

0 Comments

GOD IS WRITING OUR STORY...

8/14/2017

1 Comment

 
Picture
  If you're following this blog, then you pretty much know our story. It's a good one, and so many of you have wept, laughed, wept again, and now stand in amazement with us at the life we are honored to live. It brings me to tears every single time I think about the blessings of my husband, such a wonderful, Godly, beautiful man, and the larger than life, unbelievable little sprite that calls me mama. She's well past four now, and I still get teary-eyed and then ugly cry when I think of how much I love her. She's just that awesome. 
The story of how we've become a family together is no less than miraculous, and I always tell people, if you want to hear it, just know that I can't tell it without grafting God throughout the entire tale; and that, by far, is my favorite part.
A few months ago, however, it really hit me that so many already know our story; so many have been a part of it, have witnessed it first or secondhand, and they know how powerfully God's hand moved in our lives. While it never really gets old, in most of our circles, we don't need to tell it anymore. And that realization just about broke my heart. I don't ever want to stop telling how good God is and what mountains He's moved in our lives. So I took the cue of my toddler (see post below), raised my hands and asked the Lord to continue our story, to give us a new chapter where we can praise Him and shout to high heaven (literally and figuratively) of His goodness.
And so, in true God-fashion, on a random Thursday afternoon at a Goodwill in Iowa (yup, Iowa), I got a phone call about a situation. That phone call led to some pretty intense interaction which grew to a last minute, get-in-your-car-NOW-and-drive-100-miles-to-get-a-baby trip up the turnpike. (And no, I didn't make a bit of that up.)
And so, while I can't divulge all of the details just yet, let me loudly, proudly, and crazily declare that God indeed is NOT done with our plot line. There are another few chapters in the works, and once again, I will not be able to tell a page of it without weaving God throughout the entire story. I can't wait to share it with you! For now, here's a little sneak peek:

1 Comment

Mother's Day

5/13/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
For many years, Mother’s Day was slightly heartbreaking for me. I love my mom, and I always have been and always will be honored to celebrate her. But as I got older, the desire in my heart to be a mom was so great. I avoided church on Mother’s Day and continually prayed that the Lord would one day bless me with the title of mama.
And then, our miracle was born. And tomorrow I will celebrate my 4th Mother’s Day, each one more blessed than the next because of how much I love our daughter. She is a gift from the Lord, “mama’s present from Jesus.”
However, I want to take not just a moment, because this is bigger than that—I want to pause to honor and respect and love the woman that birthed my child--the woman who loved her so much that she carried her and cared for her for 9 months, placing headphones on her growing belly so Sophia could listen to recordings of Kory and me reading stories and poems and singing songs so she would know our voices; who invited me to every single doctor’s appointment so I could be updated with her growth and care; who allowed us to name our little girl so Sophia would never think she was a do-over; who asked me to be in the birthing room, her blood soaking the floor and her cries filling the air, so I could witness the birth; and who insisted that she be the one, not a nurse or doctor or caseworker, who place Sophia into my arms so that when I tell her the story of her adoption, she would know she was placed and not discarded.
To this beautiful, special woman, thank you. I love you. Sophia will always know what an amazing person you are and the sacrifices you made for her. And every day I keep the promise I made to you--I love her with my whole heart for her whole life.

0 Comments

Keep on Moving Forward

4/24/2017

2 Comments

 
Picture
Not easily discouraged from our goal to add to our family, most of you know that we update our home study  on a yearly basis. This past December marked our 5th update and renewal. It's not a quick process; it's not an easy process; it's not a cheap process. But it is so very important. 
Still waiting on fingerprints, background checks, and our home study to finalize and be approved (yep, it's gotta be approved each year as if it were the first time all over again...), on Friday we decided to take a step even though the bridge under us is a little shaky at the moment.
We drove out to Reading, PA--about a 2 hour trip--to attend an adoption open house where we met with countless agencies that are both state and privately run. We talked with no less than two dozen case managers who introduced us to hundreds of profiles for waiting children and discussed what situations would work best for them and for our family. And we left with a bag full of information and minds and souls even more determined to adopt again.
And that night, we heard from our own case manager that our fingerprints and background checks had finally come in; our home study should be done next week. 
Pray for us!
​

2 Comments

Praise Hands

3/30/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
I was in Target the other day with Sophia wandering through the food section when we happened upon another mama with her infant. Sophia, who is very aware of babies and likes to gush over how cute they are, stopped to talk to the baby, and then we went on our way. A moment or two later, she looked very thoughtfully at me and said, "I wish mama had a new baby,too." 
"Well, don't wish for it; pray and ask Jesus, if that is what you'd like."
"Ok. I'm gonna do that."
And with that statement, my little girl got down on her knees in the back of the cart in the frozen food aisle in the middle of Target. She raised both hands as high as she could stretch and called out: "Oh God, thank you for this day, God. I hope you like this day. Please, God, let mama have a baby. In JESUS name, Amen."
She paused for about 10 seconds before she turned around, looked me straight in the eye, and said, "Jesus said yes, mama."
​
Matthew 19:14
But Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them! For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Matthew 18:2-3
And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven

Picture
0 Comments

Why Be Colorblind?

2/16/2017

2 Comments

 
Picture
"I don't care that you're black, I am colorblind, I don't see colors..."
Honestly for as long as I can remember that phrase never sounded positive to me.
The first time my daughter Sophia addressed this issue, she may have been a little less than two. I was reading a bedtime story to her, which happened to be about different colors. I pointed to my forearm and asked her, "What color is daddy?" She just tenderly smiled and rubbed my forearm and gently put the side of her little warm head on it.
More recently, while my wife Jennifer and I were reading a story to her before bed, Sophia stopped us and asked "Why is mommy white and you are brown?" We told her that was the way God made us, and her lovely color is what God made her, too. She just smiled big and repeated what we had just brought to light to her. And then she immersed herself back into the color storybook.
Colorblind.
Why would God make rainbows, green grass, the deep blue sea or an amazing array of colors that we see in the animal kingdom or a beautiful sunset if he didn't think it beautiful? Isn't it the same with people, His most prized creation? Why can't we celebrate our uniqueness of the way God made each one of us? Instead of looking through blind eyes, why not embrace the beauty of colors?

2 Comments

He gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.

10/13/2016

2 Comments

 
I've been putting off writing this for quite some time. It was too painful, too exhausting, too overwhelming. And quite honestly, it was too embarrassing to talk about, even with our closest friends and family, much less the internet.
For the past three months, I've put my head in the sand and deftly avoided any questions, mild or probing, regarding adoption.  "Hear anything yet?" "Anything new coming on the horizon?" Didn't I hear you were adopting again?" or "Hey, how's it going with that new child?" I've been giving the cold shoulder to anyone who asks, not because I want to ignore what happened or pretend it didn't occur, but because I needed time to recuperate, to readjust, to recover, and to heal. And then this morning (I wrote this on Sunday night and only find courage now, on Thursday, to post) in church a group of teenagers sang a song that I've heard, most likely, a hundred times before, "If I should speak, then let it be of the grace that is greater than all my sin...of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in. To tell you my story is to tell of Him." And I knew it was time to write.
 In very early spring this year, we were matched with a child I'll call E. As any parents who are expecting, we kept the news tightly to ourselves for months. We grew to know E through video chats, texts, emails, and phone calls, we fell in love as we hoped and prayed and waited. We fell head over heels for the smile on the other end of the computer.
As days grew into weeks into months, we battled red tape, squirreled away funds made plans for a 1200 mile visit, had our home and our lives scrutinized (again) for updated home studies and paperwork. And we fought for our second child. 
And then came the anxiously excited moment when we shared the news of our growing family with our parents, our siblings, our closest friends. They were ecstatic for us, gave lavish presents and gifts to welcome this child into our home, and even went as far as to remodel our spare room into a personalized bedroom made specifically for E.  He was given new clothes, new toys, new furniture--it was like having a baby shower all over again. 
After what seemed like a lifetime, the day finally came when we would all meet face to face. We drove non-stop almost the entire length of the country to visit, and it was wonderful. There is no other work to describe our time together. It was everything we had hoped and imagined it would be, and after a week of visits, we came home and spent the next few weeks making final preparations for E's arrival.

And then...

It is not an exaggeration to say that from our first encounter at the airport to meet E, the stay was disastrous. I won't go into details except to say that deep seeded issues arose once placed with a new family, and we were advised immediately to send E back. We begged for more time, praying E's initial behavior would assuage once surroundings and people became familiar. They did not. In fact, they escalated so profoundly in a span of eight days that we, and all involved, were afraid for our daughter's safety. Being in a home in a family environment unearthed demons lurking from E's past that presented themselves in new surroundings. And the placement failed.
Kory and I wept together, feeling as though we had failed E. 
I cried alone for E, because this was the third broken placement; for our daughter, who was scared and confused because of the experience and interaction; and selfishly, for me because I want our family to grow, and I wanted E to be a part of that.
I'm not sure that even now we've recovered from this because while we mourn the loss for ourselves, we also ache for E and the family lost to him. Kory asked me one night if I thought this is what it feels like to lose a child. We prepared and planned, just as anyone expecting a child. And now that child is no longer here to love and cradle and cherish.

I'm still not quite sure why I'm writing this. Maybe it's to explain why we haven't written in a while. Maybe it's to ask for your forgiveness if you've been one that has asked and I've shrugged, and perhaps rudely, changed the subject or walked away. Maybe it's to explain why, if you've reached out, I haven't reached back, afraid to expose this part of our story and open up fresh wounds. I know it's to remind myself to pray for E. Maybe it's to ask if you'd pray for E, too.
​
I told Kory I didn't know how to end this. He told me to be honest and to tell the truth. Adoption isn't always roses and confetti and big parties of celebration. We've known that side. I give that side of adoption a kiss every night and tell her she's mommy's present from Jesus. That part of our story "rejoices with those who rejoice." But there is another side, too. The side that "weeps with those who weep"--with those who have lost a child, who left the hospital empty-handed, who once had a family of four, and now again, they are a family of three. We now know that pain, too. 
But God is so good. He loves us through these situations and circumstances. E is now properly placed in a situation that will provide intensive therapy in a loving environment. And while we now know that we were not the best fit for E or E for us, there are so many children awaiting a family, perhaps even our family. And so we prayerfully begin the process again. 
2 Comments
<<Previous

    Authors

    Hi, we are Jennifer and Kory, founders of Chosen One Ministries. On this blog you will read our stories and thoughts about adoption as well as contributing writers whose lives have been impacted by adoption.
    Please contact us if you have any questions. 

    Archives

    February 2018
    January 2018
    August 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    October 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.