After giving birth to my daughter I had to start a medical treatment that would prevent a second pregnancy. So when my 2 year old started asking for a sibling we started asking the Lord for guidance and researching our adoption options. My medical record made foreign adoption complicated so we knew we had to keep our search in the country.
A friend at church urged us to go meet an adorable 2 year old boy in a Christian Children’s Home and we fell in love instantly. We began working on our home study right away. Following the advice of the foster home, we decided not to visit again until our home study was done and the baby was cleared for adoption. He was later placed with a family member and we were disappointed, but our home study was approved. Having such a close relationship with my sister, it pained me to think that my daughter would be an only child, so we agreed to keep looking.
The adoption options that came up when I did an online search were overwhelming. After hours of research, we chose to submit our application to an agency. This agency would show our file to birth mothers that would choose where their babies would be placed. We prepared a birth mother letter, giving information about our family; and I checked the website daily, looking for cases we would like to apply to.
My plan was to adopt a baby boy, and I was determined to do just that. A self-declared “control freak” I liked having the option to choose the cases that would be shown our file, but God had other plans. I spent hours combing through case descriptions online and applied to several cases that did not choose us. We pressed on, feeling the urgency of our home study expiration date looming over us. Home studies can be updated, but after much prayer we decided that if we were not chosen before the expiration date we would not keep trying. I sat back down at my computer and chose a few more cases to apply to. When I called in, those cases were no longer available, but they asked me to consider another case that was due in a few months. They did not specify if it was a girl or boy and did not give me much information about the birth mother, but I gave my consent, thinking I had nothing to lose.
A few weeks later we got the call that we had been chosen. At that point we did not know if it was a boy or girl and like most expecting parents we did not care. After some cheers, they asked us if we knew it was a girl. I turned to my 3 year old and told her. She said, “Mommy I knew it was going to be a girl. I asked God for a sister and I knew he was going to give me one.” It was February and the baby was due in April. It was a whirlwind of preparation and excitement.
About 10 days after we were matched, we received her sonogram pictures in the mail. We were instantly in love and the reality of having a baby on the way really hit us. Our birth mother was only 18, and she chose not to have direct contact with us; but we received reports of her weekly doctor’s appointments. She lived on the other side of the country, and she insisted that we be there as soon as the baby was born. She did not plan to see the baby after it was born and wanted to make sure that the baby was not “left alone” while we traveled, so we had to be ready to travel as soon as she went she went into labor. We were advised not to make large purchases until after she was born and chose to restrain ourselves and fill up a baby store gift registry instead.
When we received the call, we jumped on a plane right away. We landed and 12 hours later were told it was false labor and she had been sent home. She was already overdue so they promised to induce in 2 days if needed. We went sightseeing and waited. The next day we were told our daughter was really on her way and we would be called when we could go to the hospital to see her. If we did not have pictures, it would be impossible to say what we did while we waited. We tried to stay busy walking around town and shopping, anxiously waiting to meet our daughter.
There are no words to describe how we felt when we finally had her in our arms. We were asked if the love we felt was the same as with our “real” daughter. I understood the curiosity behind the highly insensitive question, but it was shocking nonetheless. The process that we had gone through to get our daughter was definitely driven by God himself. The love we felt for her was no different than the love we had for her sister. This baby’s mother could not care for her and had entrusted her to us. I felt that she needed us in a way that was truly “urgent”, and our love for her was equally intense. Our initial motivation for adoption was to give our daughter a sibling. We now realize that the Lord used that excuse to bless our entire family a dose of energy and joy that we had been missing.
A friend at church urged us to go meet an adorable 2 year old boy in a Christian Children’s Home and we fell in love instantly. We began working on our home study right away. Following the advice of the foster home, we decided not to visit again until our home study was done and the baby was cleared for adoption. He was later placed with a family member and we were disappointed, but our home study was approved. Having such a close relationship with my sister, it pained me to think that my daughter would be an only child, so we agreed to keep looking.
The adoption options that came up when I did an online search were overwhelming. After hours of research, we chose to submit our application to an agency. This agency would show our file to birth mothers that would choose where their babies would be placed. We prepared a birth mother letter, giving information about our family; and I checked the website daily, looking for cases we would like to apply to.
My plan was to adopt a baby boy, and I was determined to do just that. A self-declared “control freak” I liked having the option to choose the cases that would be shown our file, but God had other plans. I spent hours combing through case descriptions online and applied to several cases that did not choose us. We pressed on, feeling the urgency of our home study expiration date looming over us. Home studies can be updated, but after much prayer we decided that if we were not chosen before the expiration date we would not keep trying. I sat back down at my computer and chose a few more cases to apply to. When I called in, those cases were no longer available, but they asked me to consider another case that was due in a few months. They did not specify if it was a girl or boy and did not give me much information about the birth mother, but I gave my consent, thinking I had nothing to lose.
A few weeks later we got the call that we had been chosen. At that point we did not know if it was a boy or girl and like most expecting parents we did not care. After some cheers, they asked us if we knew it was a girl. I turned to my 3 year old and told her. She said, “Mommy I knew it was going to be a girl. I asked God for a sister and I knew he was going to give me one.” It was February and the baby was due in April. It was a whirlwind of preparation and excitement.
About 10 days after we were matched, we received her sonogram pictures in the mail. We were instantly in love and the reality of having a baby on the way really hit us. Our birth mother was only 18, and she chose not to have direct contact with us; but we received reports of her weekly doctor’s appointments. She lived on the other side of the country, and she insisted that we be there as soon as the baby was born. She did not plan to see the baby after it was born and wanted to make sure that the baby was not “left alone” while we traveled, so we had to be ready to travel as soon as she went she went into labor. We were advised not to make large purchases until after she was born and chose to restrain ourselves and fill up a baby store gift registry instead.
When we received the call, we jumped on a plane right away. We landed and 12 hours later were told it was false labor and she had been sent home. She was already overdue so they promised to induce in 2 days if needed. We went sightseeing and waited. The next day we were told our daughter was really on her way and we would be called when we could go to the hospital to see her. If we did not have pictures, it would be impossible to say what we did while we waited. We tried to stay busy walking around town and shopping, anxiously waiting to meet our daughter.
There are no words to describe how we felt when we finally had her in our arms. We were asked if the love we felt was the same as with our “real” daughter. I understood the curiosity behind the highly insensitive question, but it was shocking nonetheless. The process that we had gone through to get our daughter was definitely driven by God himself. The love we felt for her was no different than the love we had for her sister. This baby’s mother could not care for her and had entrusted her to us. I felt that she needed us in a way that was truly “urgent”, and our love for her was equally intense. Our initial motivation for adoption was to give our daughter a sibling. We now realize that the Lord used that excuse to bless our entire family a dose of energy and joy that we had been missing.
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